Thursday, September 13, 2012

Thanks, dude.

I met this dude last night. For all of ten minutes, maybe, we talked. His band was touring, and my band played with them when they came through, and you know, we shot that kind of shit. 'How far into your tour are you?,' 'what city did you play last night?,' 'where are you going next?," blah blah blah. Basically, if you're in a band, and you meet other people in bands, you always have this stuff to talk about. It must be what its like to be in a fraternity. Or work at the mall.

But something I noticed was that I noticed him -- and it had been a long time since I had noticed a dude, at all. The recent creep parade happening to my internet-person through invasive Facebook messages from strangers and weird emails of the same sort had made me nuts. But the internet will make you nuts if you live inside of it, you know? You can't just hibernate all summer and only go to shows that you're playing. It doesn't work for your sanity.

So he and I talked and traded tapes and I spent a moment really looking at him -- and I realized that I don't look at dudes in this way very often. For a lot of reasons, but maybe right then it was because I was putting on the band hustle/front -- you know, leveling. Being a tough guy, just doing the business of band stuff. I mean, being friendly, too. But also, not being a lady looking at a man in that moment.

But when I did look at him, and I offered our floor for his band to crash, I wanted him to stay. Of course, at our house, if you're a touring band, you always have a place to stay the night. It's such an integral part of how we function on tour -- the safe space situation is a necessity -- that we always offer it up. But I also wanted him to stay because he was cute and maybe I wanted to kiss his face a few times before he drove to Oklahoma and I never saw him again.

So thanks, dude. Thanks to the dude from Occult Detective Club for reminding me that not all straight guys are creeps. And that sometimes, they are just dudes, being dudes. And thanks to the Internet for allowing me some super awkward space to have a diary entry in public.

xo b 

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